I am 5’ 10 and as of this morning I weigh in at 168.
I have been thinking a lot recently about how I view my body and the varying ‘health’ trends that seem to pop out at me from every possible corner.
My conclusion? I am taking back the fat.
Being fat is supposedly one of women’s biggest fears. To call a women fat will instantly bring her to her knees, she will be a puddle of self conscious goo. Being fat means you are undesirable, possibly repulsive-and an undesirable women, as we all know, ‘aint no women at all.
So first I would like to call bullshit on any notion that a certain type of body isn’t beautiful or worthy of respect. Now that this is out of the way there is the issue of ‘health’.
These conversations usually start something like this
Me: Cracking jokes about my fat ass or referring to myself as a giant, loud, women.
Random Person: No! Your not fat, you are beautiful!
Me: Well heres the thing…those two are not mutually exclusive.
I am lucky that people in my life have been very receptive to this idea, however, where things get sticky is when the big bad wolf of ‘health’ comes in.
Random Person: But what about the obesity epidemic, are you saying people should just be fine with being unhealthy?
…yeah. Lets think about this one for a second. We cannot talk about health without talking about how obesity, heart disease, diabetes ect. have everything to do with socioeconomic class. Access to fresh food, healthcare, education, and other resources greatly affect certain demographics, specifically poor people, and poor people of color.I was a pretty healthy child, partially because my parents were able to provide lunches for me. If I’d had to eat the terrible school lunches I think it would have been a very different story. Also on a larger scale I have access to healthcare since I was a fetus.
Now, it is odd to me that ‘health’ is used as a counter argument to the kind of radical body love that I am describing. In my mind health is the core of the matter. How the fuck am I supposed to keep my body healthy if I am constantly swallowing the bullshit that my body is not desirable, beautiful, or worthy?
The reality is that I have done violence to my body in the name of health. I have recently realized that the healthiest step for me to take right now is owning my body. All of it. Every last jiggly morsel.
I must change my language. Instead of losing weight, I am becoming stronger. Instead of problem areas I have flaunting areas. I believe that one of the most revolutionary things women can do is own their body.
From now on, I will find anyone who tells me differently highly suspect.